Thursday, November 18, 2010

I Want to Be a Ghost Hunter, It Would Be a Great Job

Over the past few days I have been watching some television shows featuring self proclaimed 'ghost hunters'. These shows are quite entertaining; there are lots of people that actually believe in ghosts. Let me breakdown a typical show for you, quickly.

   1. OMG! A ghost! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *calls ghost hunters*
   2. Ghost hunters researches the situation
   3. Commercial
   4. Random facts about middle of nowhere, Wisconsin
   5. Interview with (typically obese) people who are convinced that their building is haunted
   6. Commercial
   7. Really expensive cameras are carried around by 6 people in matching t-shirts, all night.
   8. 99% of the 'paranormal experiences' are de-bunked using simple logic, and puns.
   9. The remaining 1% is labelled as 'weird', with no conclusive evidence ever documented.
  10. Commercial

That is the entire 30 minute episode.

I believe these shows are around (and will continue to be) for 2 reasons.

Firstly, some people still maintain that ghosts exist. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not under the delusion that paranormal activity is impossible. Although I have never personally experienced anything paranormal per se, I do admit that there are many things about this world that are unexplainable. Then there are ghosts. If you do a little Googling, you will encounter countless 'true stories' about ghosts, accompanied by numerous pictures, sound recordings and even video. Aren't they cool? Do they not entice you to travel all the way to these places to pay $10 for the privilege of a firsthand look? Don't you want all of the books and DVDs for sale? Just what I thought, you don't. If you are anything like me, (since I am 1 in a million, there are roughly 7000 of you) then you can clearly see the profit driven motives of 'ghost sightings'. Furthermore, PHOTOSHOP, enough said.

Secondly, and more importantly, these shows exist so that 'Ghost Hunters' can have a job. I do not even know where to start with these people. They are not nearly as awesome as Ghost Busters, but they are more credible than 'mediums'. They seem to have a fairly balanced and clear headed approach to the act of ghost hunting. They use really expensive looking equipment (see step 7 and 8 ) and walk around all night hoping to find something. This laudable endeavour features such 'paranormal' activity as: flickering lights, creaky 100 year old houses, sounds from 'nowhere', strange smells in haunted bathrooms and the occasional truly weird thing. I am always skeptical about the one weird thing that happens almost without fail every single episode. Regardless of what the event is, I always wonder if there is even a remote possibility that the owner (promoter) of the given property set up something to appear paranormal? Or is every single of these houses actually haunted? If so, why would there never be any conclusive evidence? These are all questions that I pose to the entire and all of the Internets.

These paranormal encounters being 'legitimized' by the television shows and website etc. is most definitely a mutually beneficial relationship between the proprietor of the haunted house and the ratings hungry network that hosts the shows.

Nevertheless, I yearn to be a ghost hunter. Why is that you may ask? Well, if you watch the show Ghost Hunters, you will see that these people have a docile, yet eminently entertaining career. All they do all day is collect 'information' about haunted places, then go and mock the people that work there. Then they get to walk around and try to convince the ghosts to appear, or to communicate with them. If you have ever watched the show, you will know that this is never to any avail. Ever. Since I have a constant yearning to mock others, I figure that ghost hunting would be a perfect job for me.

Unfortunately, I can never pursue this career, due to a traumatic experience I had as a youth involving Casper. They told me he was friendly.

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